Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Climate activists propose genetic modification of humans to reduce harmless CO2 emissions

Newsflash from the German ShortNews site, which although it claims to be a serious news site, is now apparently in competition with The Onion:

07/16/14 ShortNews (Germany) (Google translation + light editing)

Genetically alter humans: The last alternative to climate protection

If it is so hard to stop climate change, why not change the people, in order to slow global warming, at least? Some ideas about it are radical, but the more mankind feels the consequences, the more necessary biomedical modifications will become. Eighteen percent of greenhouse gas emissions come from livestock. Why not induce humans to have an artificial intolerance to meat? A genetic variation for size reduction would be another possibility. A reduction in height by 15 cm means a reduction in mass by 25 percent. Genetic alterations of the human eye to see better in the dark, would reduce power consumption. Chlorophylls in the skin could cover a part of the energy demand by sunlight rather than by food. Shutdown of cell activity at rest would also be an alternative.

H/T to Die Kalte Sonne: Climate activists propose genetic modification of humans as steps to reduce CO2 emissions


  1. Too funny. Still, there is reason to suspect that there is a mutant virus running rampant in Europe that has seriously reduced IQs. :)

  2. If you were to suggest they eat genetically modified food, they'd have a cow.

    Update: my irony meter just exploded.

  3. I wonder when they will put the ax to carbonated beverages? The average American drinks 40 gallons of carbonated drinks per year. "Quit the Coke and save the planet!"

  4. Are these people phuckin nuts?

  5. So the granola munchers, who are totally against GM foods, are in favor of experimenting on people to bring this pipe dream to fruition? Why worry about harming people with "dangerous" foods, if you're going to turn around and perform lab experiments on them? It's sick and wrong, and shows no sense of proportion.

  6. Doc Mengele's theories probably were less absurd.

  7. I am reminded of the entry in the 'fortune cookie' file of a Unix system I worked with many years ago:

    "/earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can."